it's the final countdown

in five days time, i will be back in my hometown for the holidays and subjected to the following kinds of situations, thanks to my mother. darkpony is also vulnerable.

1. _____ was just busted for pot possession and lost her teaching job because of it. let's stop by and give her a gift to cheer her up.
2. let's stop by ____'s x-mas party. by the way, a lot of your former elementary, middle, and high school teachers are going to be there.
3. i've invited my new co-worker over for dinner. he happens to be the same age as you, attended the same college, and lived in the same dormitory.
4. do you mind talking to this student of mine? he's interested in attending college in new york. i think that he's confused about his sexuality.
5. _____, _____, and _____ want to go shopping at t.j. maxx with us.
6. darkpony won't mind manning the plant shop while you drive me to get my nails done.
7. i've invited _____ and _____ over for spaghetti. i'll protect you when skeevy ____ gets touch feely after he's been drinking.
8. ____ has heard so much about you from me and wants to give you a gift.
9. darkpony can help your brother dig the grave in the backyard.
10. we are going out for pizza with _____who has _____ (fill in the disability/illness).

you may have noticed that none of these are questions but statements. here's typical dialogue after one of these statements is made.

me: (whining) god mom, no. why do you do this to me every time? i don't care to see those people. i don't even know them.

my mother: just do it for me.

if one of these demands involves darkpony, i hear this from her:

my mother: i don't care if he gets in a big huff. he's doing it for me.