we should have sat at the table in the front

darkpony and i were out at a nice restaurant in our neighborhood the other night and were seated next to these total nightmares. he and i couldn't even talk to each other because we were so enthralled by them. here are some highlights of their conversation:

• big talker guy: i went to see a screening of brokeback mountain at the screen actors guild. you wouldn't believe the kind of people that were there. you know those people that carry those channel thirteen totebags? the canvas ones? don't go see it alone unless you want to make a new friend during the movie. you definitely got to go with a chick.
• big talker guy: have you seen swingers? that is the best movie ever. what? you haven't seen swingers? my christmas present to you is to buy a copy of swingers on your way home.
• big spender guy to 5-year old kid: what are you in the retard class?
• big spender guy to the table: did you try this $450 bordeaux? check out the look on their faces. [side note: yes, it is a nice restaurant, but a not a place you would spend $450 on a bottle of wine]
• big spender guy to his overweight girlfriend: that is the mean waitress, the fat one. [side note: darkpony and i almost choked on our food with this one.]
• big spender guy's girlfriend: oh, the one with the frizzy hair? [referring to the "fat" waitress]
• big talker guy: you wouldn't believe the kind of people that are at disneyland. they're from places like nebraska.