the haunting

i need to confess something that i did in the past which is still haunting me to this day. a few years back i watched every episode of one of the worst and most fake reality shows ever, the restaurant, with that rocco di spirito. unfortunately, i'm still reminded of this nightmare experience on a weekly basis because one of the waiters, topher, lives across the street from me. to make matters worse, i found topher's first (and i assume) last interview online yesterday. topher revealed way too much information about himself, and now, i'm haunted even more. let me share some highlights:

• Our whole family eventually became a troop of clowns -- all but my oldest brother, who was having none of it.... We spent a good solid five years doing that as a business -- twisting animal balloons for money.
• My best friend said, "What have you done so far?" I said, "I accidentally touched her boobs once." So he gave me the rundown. I went up there and [when it came time], I threw up on her in bed.
• Cranking out those meatballs.

help me! i need an exorcism.