you know how you are acquainted with someone, but the only thing you have in common is a joke. at the same time said joke is soooo played out, but the other person still holds on to it like life support though it's dead in the water? i thought so. me too.
for real, that rudy giuliani is nuts! did you see him on tv endorsing john mccain yesterday? he was saying that he was going to campaign with mccain in a bunch of states, and the look on mccain's face was one of complete horror. i swear! good, go ahead and do that, rudy. fine with me. i'm not a republican. and then the local news here in nyc is all like blowing hot air up rudy's butt by saying that his influence will be huge for mccain. what? how did rudy do in that florida primary? seriously, i think everyone's insane. oh i forgot how extraordinary of a mayor rudy was after the 9/11 attacks. so extraordinary that nyc was attacked on his (and george bush's) clock, and he did what any other person would have done in that situation by supporting the clean-up workers. wow! and don't even get me started that headline news includes arnold schwarzenegger announcing his endorsement for john mccain today. who cares! how about the governors of the other 49 states? who are they endorsing?
and every day. subway door hogs! yes, i understand what a coveted spot that is, especially on a crowded train, but seriously, when people are trying to get on and off the train, move out of the freakin' way. moving your body kind-of-a-little-to-the-side does not cut the mustard. and you big man today, come on you're just too large to be hogging the door. oh and the addition of a puffy winter coat isn't helping anyone! blah. fyi, i've been in a mood this week.
i might just be a tad bit obsessed with john travolta. for some reason this video of him at the sag awards the other night fascinates me, and i can't stop watching it because he is just so gosh darn creepy. if i were cate blanchett, i would be running scared. also, doesn't viggo mortenson look like a teeny tiny hobbit though he didn't even play one in the lotr movies? i just want to pinch him. mickey rooney!
addendum: what's with the guy next to john travolta with his hands covering his face? crazy video all around!
i'm talking about myself. as usual. so "notes by naive" is definitely one of my most favorite blogs at the moment because its creator, tommy, has the best eye for all things: clothes, food, knick-knacks, design, books, etc. i can just imagine that her london apartment is super cozy yet always in perfect order. she also seems to possess a somewhat large clothing budget. she and i seem to have very similar sartorial tastes, but unfortunately, i'm lacking her budget. as i said to darkpony one time (in a funny voice which he told me to stop doing), "her wardrobe is to die for." case in point is her most recent post. i guess that i will live vicariously through her blog as i continue to shop at the salvation army and the goodwill. oh, sigh...
my blog is 14% lighter because i decided to delete all posts pertaining to those people i spend 8/5 with: ts, ft, b&b laugher, etc.
ts asked me what an "internet bully" was the other day, which made me realize that i'm one. i know! i'm totally lame. oh well. by the way, this has nothing to do with getting caught blogging about work by my work. i swear!
darkpony has strongly emphasized to me that nothing goes away on the internet, which i knew, but it did take an episode of touched by an angel to teach me that when you work in an office, the computers are on a network.
the new yorker is hosting a eustace tilley contest where the prize is pretty much nothing, but it has motivated darkpony to submit the above illustration. i think it's quite brilliant. you can check out other people's submissions here. no contest. am i right?
we are lacking a full-length mirror in our apartment, so i can only see from the hips down in one mirror and from the shoulders up in another. the bathroom at work has a full-length mirror, which made me utter this to myself today: "wtf are you wearing, hazeldove?!?" i seriously look like the most ridiculous ninja you've ever seen in your entire life. now i have to convince myself all day that if i saw some other girl wearing the same outfit, i bet i would think she looks real neat. it's not working...
guess what i did last night? i acidentally tossed a pork chop behind the stove. you know it! i was transferring some pork chops (yes, i cook!) from one pan to another, and whoops! i washed it off, and fed it to the unsuspecting darkpony. just kidding!
because i've got absolutely nothing else for you today. this gem was originally posted on january 29, 2006:
bed, bath, and beyond me who are these people who are like, "i'm really in the mood for one of those mission style burritos from the bed, bath, and beyond cafe?"
the other day i realized that darkpony has recently set-up two blogging websites for people, so they will have their own domain name and all that, which made wonder why i was still slaving away on blogger. i've proven for 2+ years now that i'm a somewhat steady blogger, and here he is setting up websites for people who have no track record at all. hmmph. so dp and i had a little discussion, and he's going to set-up a site just for me. ray! it may not happen for a month or two, but when it does, it's going to be so super awesome. i will also be debuting the striped shirts logo designed by dp. boo yah!
darkpony told me the other night that he was reading the "striped shirts" archives, and he said something like, "they are actually really funny; it's like you didn't write them." he clarified his statement, and it makes perfect sense to me, but i'm not going to bore you with the details here. so "striped shirts," formerly "striped shirts & skinny pants," has been around for 2+ years now. i thought it might be a good idea to share some of my favorite posts with you. first up is this gem from December 8, 2005:
oh, clementine last night i was eating a clementine, and i kid you not, there were more than twenty seeds in it. i should have been paid to eat that clementine because it was a lot of work.
darkpony and i were just discussing the ways some people respond in situations when you know you are 100% correct about the thing you are talking about, and you know they have maybe 7% of knowledge of the subject matter at hand:
i feel my blogging mojo waning at the moment, so i have to resort to what every television sitcom (brady bunch, who's the boss, cosby show, family ties, growing pains, etc.) has done in the past when out of ideas: kids!
my company does a holiday philanthropic thing where kids ask for specific books, and we buy them for them. here are some endearing quotes from the kids' thank you notes:
charlie and the chocolate factory: i like mike teevee the best because he watches television and has pistols.
charlie and the chocolate factory: it was in good shape. it had no ripped pages.
goosebumps: reading this is like watching tv.
general: your company is so great it should be famous!
today i had a physical and the doctor was like, "your bmi (body mass index) is a little high, so you need to lower that." then i'm all like to myself, "geez, i know hd (hazeldove) is no spring chicken and has put on some lbs (pounds), but hd can't be overweight!" then i stand up and the doctor is like, "how tall are you?" and i'm like, "5'7." then the doctor is all like, "oh, someone wrote down that you were 5'2 on your chart. your bmi is fine. ha ha." ha ha! hilarious!
there's this cell phone ad at my subway stop which really makes me stop and ponder it every time i see it. darkpony and i have even discussed it! the ad shows a text message on a phone that says, "jen, it's 80s night. you won't even have to change." i find this text message to be a bit ambiguous, and i have come to the following two conclusions as to the meaning of said text message:
1. jen is already at an 80s themed party, so she's dressed perfectly for an 80s night out at the club. 2. jen's friend is a total bitch who thinks jen always dresses like she's stuck in the 1980s, and this text message is a dig at jen's wardrobe. i'm going with #2.
let's get political, political, i want to get political...
since the iowa caucus is today, i'm feeling quite political, so let's talk about ron paul. i really don't know much about this guy, but he seems to have quite the following of fanatical freakshows (check out that alliteration, heh?). why the harsh words? well, when you are on a two-hour flight from new york to chicago and some nutjob holds up a ron paul bumper sticker the entire flight, you have the right to assume that something is a little wack-a-doodle. am i right?
harry potter! that's right. darkpony is making me purge all of my possessions, and in the process of doing this, i found my harry potter glasses circa 1997. now that harry potter is dead*, i can resurrect them. like jesus.
*i actually don't know if harry potter dies in the last book because i stopped reading the series at book #2.
this nyt article is the perfect reason why luxury condos should not be built on the williamsburg, greenpoint, and lic waterfronts. if you are lured by "the convenience" of water taxi service, then you are a fool. big time. now you have to ride the jmz with the plebes, suckas!
i just read somewhere—probably the new yorker—that fergie's new year's resolution is to be less fergalicious. i find this to be funny because i'm also trying to be less fergalicious in 2008. it's going to be a hard road to travel, so keep your fingers crossed for me!
the other night darkpony, tomcat, and i went to the 10:35pm showing of there will be blood. oh right, my facebook friends probably already know this since fandango thinks it's okay to advertise this news to the world. anyway from previous experiences, i was dreading that we would get to the theater and have to wait in a chaotic line since the movie was completely sold out. fortunately, the loews cinema on the upper west side was very organized, and even if you got to the theater super early, you were allowed to enter and find seats. yeah! this made me very happy. unfortunately for me but fortunately for darkpony, i couldn't use this classic line i practiced the entire subway ride there: "there will be blood, if you try to cut this line." darn it. oh well.
i also couldn't stop saying "there will be blood" in a funny voice like i was a vampire or zombie (are these the same thing? darkpony?). that really drove darkpony crazy, but tomcat seemed to enjoy it.
i'm not going to get into the details here, but on christmas eve, my mother and i were at target, and i somehow fell down and injured myself in the store. for the record, i did NOT fall down due to my own clumsiness. here's my mother's response to the situation:
"we should file a claim, but we've got too much to do!"
can you tell which one is carrot top and which one is jackie stallone (sly's mama)? oh my!
